LET'S TALK ABOUT... COMMUNICATION

 LET’S TALK ABOUT… COMMUNICATION


Communication is important in everything, especially when it comes down to relationships and family matters. This week we learned about communication and the importance it especially has on the family.  

Communication takes effort, we often misunderstand things. When communicating we have different modes of communication, words, tone and non verbal. Words take up about 14%, tone takes 35% and non verbal takes 51% equaling 100% of communication. Think about all the times that we use the 51% that are harmful or have hurt us. Non verbals can be used in many different ways, some good and some not as effective. 

In class we learned about the 5 secrets of effective communication skills 

  1. Disarming technique

  2. Express thoughts/ feelings or empathy 

  3. Inquiry - conform 

  4. “I feel” statements to assert

  5. “Stroking” = state admiration

The disarming effect is like popcorn, we have to look for it and speak the kernel of truth that in the statement the person is saying. The first three secrets of effective communication are empathy. The fourth one is assertiveness and the fifth is respect. 

It is sometimes not “normal” to open up our emotions and to be assertive when opening up with someone.

These 5 secrets of effective communication can be used in any manner, it doesn't matter what order you use them it matters that you use them all. We feel closer when we open up our emotions with someone. 


Some problems of communication that I briefly mentioned before are, words, tones and non verbal communication. I was talking with a friend the other day about communication in families and relationships. As we talked we realized that every person has a different way to express their emotions and feelings through different signs of communication. He would rather have someone text him a brief, simple, and, short message and I would rather take a couple seconds or even a minute to pick up the phone and make a call. I thought it was really interesting to see the different perspectives in two different ways. I think that it is important to listen to someone and show that you care, even if that form of communication is not the way that you would like. Communication takes effort and it is easily misunderstood and hard to understand someone when you are angry or upset at someone. I think it is important to be open and honest even when it is hard, especially in communication. 


There’s a really good quote by President Ezra Taft Benson. He says, "Your most important friendships should be with your own brothers and sisters and with your father and mother. Love your family. Be loyal to them. Have a genuine concern for your brothers and sisters. Help carry their load so you can say, like the lyrics of the song, 'He ain't heavy; he's my brother'." 

I really like this quote because I feel that sometimes I don’t have the best communication with my brothers and sisters and my mom and dad. It is hard sometimes for me to appropriately and correctly share my opinions and concerns with my family. I feel like they don’t respect what I am saying or the things that I am doing. I get really frustrated at them when they don’t listen to me and think that I am saying one thing when I am really not. I am trying so hard to help them understand me but oftentimes they don’t. This causes me anxiety and I have a hard time getting the things that I feel like I need to because they just will not listen to me and all that I have to say. I wish my family could work on communication more because it would be so much better. 

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