LET'S TALK ABOUT... DATING

 LET’S TALK ABOUT… DATING


I just wanted to introduce this blog by saying that class this week was SO GOOD!! I love learning about marriage and dating, I took lots of notes and I’m really excited to share about it and write it out! 


Does everyone dread the word dating or is that just me? There’s a stereotype of dating and different types of dating. We tend to hangout, makeout, dropout. When dating we need to get to know them. There’s three T’s that you can get to know someone through. 


TOGETHERNESS (Shared experience)

TALK (Mutual self disclosure)

TIME (More than 3 months to begin)

“KNOW” QUO 


We share friends, interests, values and congregations.


What is a date? What is the difference between hanging out and dating and why do we just hang out and not date? A date is a planned activity that is paired up, and paid for. 

There are relations to a date and The Family Proclamation.


Planned…...Preside 

Paid for…….Provide 

Paired off…..Protect 


This is just one reason why dating is helping us prepare for marriage. 

Through this process we’re able to see how dating can work and how it can be good. 


What’s the difference between dating and hanging out? Why do we just hang out now and why is dating such a big deal? 



The RAM stands for the Relationship Attachment Model. I love learning and applying the RAM model because I feel like it is so relatable. When dating someone it’s good to get to know them before you get too far. The RAM starts with getting to know the person. I feel like it’s important to be able to know someone well before you start to trust them. I like this funny example that I thought of the other day. If you are at Thanksgiving dinner and you are with your “boyfriend” that you’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks. You don’t know if likes mashed potatoes or not and you get mashed potatoes for him, you sit down with the plate of mashed potatoes and you find out he hates mashed potatoes, only if you knew that before so you didn’t have to awkwardly have that encounter again. 

So that’s when you start to trust him and he starts to trust you, with things that you say and talk about and things that you can trust each other with. I like to think about a secret or something very personal to me. I wouldn’t want him to tell all his friends and roommates about my secret, I trusted him with that information and I want to keep it and not tell anyone. 

The next step in the RAM model is rely. Rely is something that is really important. I think that rely and trust go hand in hand and that they are both very helpful in a relationship. 

Commit is to be exclusive, this is where I see people starting their relationship. We are committing prematurally, and it should not be happening. There needs to be time to get to know someone before we are fully committed to them. I know that that has been hard for me because I want to jump right in and be with someone right way and start dating but it’s ok and actually really good to take time to fully and really get to know someone. 

The last one is touch. Touch is something that should not happen until we are committed but often happens when we are still getting to know someone. I think it is a huge mis-service that we do and that it is hard to get to know someone without the touch. It is so important to get to know someone first. 

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